Are you a chameleon - or an Indonesian mimic octopus??
We humans are incredibly good at adapting.
The ability to fit in can be a great asset at work - to slip, chameleon-like, in to a new workplace culture, join in the jokes and become part of the team. To not cause any friction or draw attention to yourself.
“You may not even realise how far you have moulded yourself to suit an environment that stirs up your fear. Often nobody else mentions it either, because they’ve adapted just like you.”
But our desire to fit in can also lead to us getting further and further away from
our comfort zones and from ourselves.
So we stay:
When we no longer like who we are at work;
When the work we do no longer feels purposeful;
When our workplace and employer no longer support our personal values.
We don't want to draw attention to ourselves or rock the boat.
So we become more and more like the Indonesian mimic octopus - not only changing our behaviour but impersonating those around us. We adapt, and those around us adapt.
Everything probably looks fine from the outside.
But you know you're a fraud.
And that is exhausting and frightening, because you live in fear of being found out. And feeling ashamed that you let it happen.
I've been that chameleon, and I've been the mimic octopus.
What I've learned is that no amount of adapting and contorting yourself, compromising or pretending will ever make you happy if you're in the wrong place for you.
I wish I had been able to work with a coach through that transition. To have started working, strategising and exploring possibilities before the crisis came. To have taken back some control by having a dedicated space with an expert to help me remember who I was, all I had achieved and what I really wanted.
That's what I do now for the people I work with.
If that sounds like you, book a free call and tell me about your situation. Let’s get started before the holidays so you can really look forward to the new year.
