The power of your voices

I wrote this today because I’ve got laryngitis - no voice!

‘Voices’ come up again and again in my work.

The voices only you can hear.

Sometimes these are literal voices, and sometimes they’re associated with a specific person - the nagging voice of your mother perhaps, or the scathing criticism of a teacher. Sometimes they’re something much more unfocused, more like a feeling or emotion.

Neuroscientists have named these Sage voices and Saboteur voices - the expression of our positive and negative selves. 10 saboteur voices have been identified, led by The Judge, and five sage voices.

The odds are stacked.

“I’d never talk to anyone else the way I talk to myself”

“I’d never talk to anyone else the way I talk to myself.”

I hear this often: the negative, saboteur voice has drowned out the supportive, sage voice.

The result?

You’re being bullied by the worst bully in the world - the one who knows all your deepest fears and insecurities.

Your confidence crashes and feelings of failure grow. Imposter syndrome sets in. Anxiety spirals.

Your sleep, health and relationships suffer.

You’re less successful at work.

You don’t like who you are.

Resetting those volume controls is essential

The work I do focuses on creating an expertly-facilitated space for you to articulate and explore what's on your mind and what you’d like to change.

I won’t interrupt your thoughts.

I will reflect your words back to you, sometimes challenge or even interrupt you, and I will ask very specific questions.

But it is in the silence that the voices come to the fore and can be acknowledged.

It’s a moment when a lot of people cry.

Like all bullies, saboteur voices are full of hot air. Once you dig in, interrogate and challenge them, what you find is emotion: fear, hurt, panic and judgement.

Not evidence.

Sage voices, on the other hand, thrive on evidence.

Feed them your achievements: your positive feedback, your sales figures, all those compliments about your presentation or your contributions in a meeting and they’ll begin to sing again.

The difference?

Once your negative voices begin to be smothered by the positive, your perspective and mindset start to shift.

Not all at once, not overnight.

It takes work - you have to rewire your neural pathways.

But gradually, with practice, you will bed-in that evidence-based, creative, positive voice.

As you do, you will gain insight, awareness and perspective.

The changes you want to make and the success you want to achieve become clearer and clearer. The obstacles and everything that’s stopping you doing and being what and who you want to be are out in the open. There will be practical problems which may be beyond your control. But you will be able to pivot round them or see past them again.

Your horizons will lift and your ambition will grow. Again and again (that’s another place I come in - to stop you playing too small).

The landscape of possibility will be greater than you could have imagine.