Why does pressure make it so hard to choose?
I’ve been doing a Tiny Experiment — inspired by hearing King's College London neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff talk about her work and her book, Tiny Experiments.
She argues that a rigid goal and success-focused mindset activates the amygdala in our brains, adding to our feelings of being under pressure. Pressure narrows our vision and locks us into binary thinking: right or wrong, success or failure.
Our brains respond to such high stakes by freezing. We find ourselves procrastinating.
How does curiosity help when you feel stuck?
Curiosity is the antidote to decision paralysis because it reimagines a good outcome as progress, not achievement. It takes us out of the courtroom, where we’re constantly judging ourselves, and puts us into the laboratory, where we can start gathering evidence.
An experimental mindset, powered by curiosity, is rewarded by the brain with dopamine. That makes us more open and more creative. It triggers memory and our minds become more productive.
With less pressure we reach solutions faster because we’re looking for learning, not fixed outcomes.
Google knew this. Their famous "20% Project" - where employees spent a fifth of their time ‘playing in the sandbox’ with no fixed goal - gave the world Gmail, amongst other things.
This exploratory approach also naturally creates space for neurodivergent minds that don’t thrive under rigid, linear rules.
What does a Tiny Experiment look like in practice?
Like all Tiny Experiments, mine is PACT:
Purposeful: Driven by curiosity rather than a rigid goal.
Actionable: Clear enough that you know exactly what to do.
Continuous: Repeated regularly over a set period.
Trackable: Simple to record as a yes or no—did I do it today?
It follows a simple formula: "I will [do X] for [Y] days."
In my case: I will start my day writing in my notebook before I look at any tech or screens for 21 days.
I started a week ago, and I’ve done it every day since. Because I’m writing anyway, it’s easy to jot down what I notice about how I feel about writing - the data-collection bit.
It was definitely hardest at the beginning, particularly on Day 2 when the US Midterm election results came out. I had to make myself walk downstairs, put the radio on while I made coffee, and then write in my notebook before rushing to news websites to find out more.
It’s gradually got easier as a new habit has formed: coffee, a few pages of a novel, more coffee with the radio headlines, notebook writing - and only then, laptop with breakfast.
Interestingly, I’ve naturally started waking up a little earlier to make space for it. And I’m thrilled that I’ve written loads.
Why does a tiny shift like this matter when you have big decisions to make? Because protecting even twenty minutes of quiet time before other people's voices rush in, makes space for you hear to your own voice.
How can you use curiosity to create your next step?
You don't need a complex plan to get you moving forward - you just need enough curiosity to gather a few clues.
Spot where you’re stuck.
Here’s one of Dr Le Cunff’s strategies for when you’re feeling stuck or procrastinating:
Ask yourself what the source of the block is:
Is it in your head? If something doesn’t make sense, you may need more information.
Is it in your heart? If you’re feeling an emotional resistance, if the task isn’t enjoyable, you may need to find a way to make it fun.
Is it in your hands? If you don’t have the right resources or skills you may need some help.
As conductor Benjamin Zander suggests in The Art of Possibility, when something goes wrong, try throwing your arms in the air and saying, "How fascinating!" - the ideal way to turn criticism into pure curiosity. Working out why something went wrong can be game-changing.
Design your own PACT in your notebook
Writing things down slows your thinking and gives you space to turn an idea or a feeling into a small, low-stakes experiment using the formula: "I will [do X] for [Y] days."
If you're starting out or considering university and careers: "I will ask one person what they actually enjoy about their day-to-day work every day for 3 weeks." Or: "I will spend 15 minutes reading about a job I’ve never considered - and jot down what intrigues me - every day for 10 days."
If you're rethinking mid-life or approaching retirement: "I will ask one person every day what they think my ideal job would be and why for 4 weeks." Or: "I will visit one new local group, talk, or volunteering space each week to see what kind of people and projects I enjoy for 1 month."
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I become more curious when I feel overwhelmed?
Start small. When you are exhausted or anxious, big life questions feel impossible. Lower the bar by running a tiny, low-pressure experiment - like writing in a notebook for ten minutes before checking your phone - to build momentum without the pressure of a complex plan.
What is a Tiny Experiment in decision-making?
Created by neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff, a Tiny Experiment is a small, time-bound action designed to test an idea rather than achieve a fixed goal. It follows the PACT framework (Purposeful, Actionable, Continuous, Trackable) using the simple formula: "I will [do X] for [Y] days."
Can curiosity really help with career or retirement decisions?
Yes. Big transitions often stall because people try to plan ten steps ahead. Curiosity shifts your focus to the very next step - such as talking to someone whose job interests you or testing a new routine. Doing this builds real-world evidence and confidence - and an explorer’s mindset.
Remember you don't have to navigate these choices on your own. If you’d like a supportive thinking partner to help you design your own experiments, I can help:
The Missing Subject for young people navigating university, careers, and big early-life transitions.
The Shortest Path for adults who want to break out of old patterns, rediscover what they care about, and make confident life decisions.
I’m Annabel Smith, an experienced personal decision coach based in the UK helping adults and young people understand themselves before making high-stakes choices and decisions.
You can book a free introductory call here.
